


The Evil Queen and the orgasm issue.

by Sphix



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Swan Queen fandom - Fandom
Genre: F/F, M for language, Split Queen, a little 'crack' fic, something funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 16:20:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10880484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sphix/pseuds/Sphix
Summary: "I won't be missing out any more glorious orgasms brought by Miss Swan!"Regina gaped at the Queen - in shock





	The Evil Queen and the orgasm issue.

**Author's Note:**

> So this headcanon had been laying around on my computer for a long time now! I hope you enjoy this little gem :). Comments are appreciated!

Sitting in her living room - with a good book on her lap, Regina finally felt a little bit more content.

The last weeks and months had been tough.      

 

A purple swirl of smoke appeared and the Evil Queen smiled wickedly at her former self.

"Oh no...Go away." Regina groaned, throwing her head back in annoyance.

"Na, na...don't be so harsh, Regina...I'm here with a request!" The Evil Queen announced, taking a seat across Regina.

"I wonder what that would be..." The brunette mumbled, taking off her reading glasses.

"We need to be morphed back together..." The Queen bluntly said, watching Regina with rapt attention.

"Excuse me?" Regina spat, regarding her former self with wary eyes.

 

"I won't be missing out any more glorious orgasms brought by Miss Swan!"

 

Regina gaped at the Queen - in shock.

"Oh don't pretend to be surprised, Regina! Did you really think I would forget that you secretly sleep with her since the very first moment she showed up at your doorstep? I've been there the past 5 1/2 years."

Regina remained silent - fiddling with her glasses.

"And since Emma won't touch me - believe me - I tried - we need to morph back together." The Queen said, leaning back against the couch.

"No...I mean..." Regina tried, shaking her head to clear it a little.

 

"Hold on...You tried to seduce Emma?" Regina finally said - The Queen's words reaching her mind - processing.

"Yes, I have! She is so stubborn...I like it - but it is tiresome. I just want a - tiny orgasm...or a big one at that." The Queen shrugged.

"You won't be touching her again - or I'll end you." Regina was livid - wait - _was she jealous?  Yes, she was_.

"Oh Regina, stop it...What can I say? Best sex ever...The way she goes down on us, teases, oh and when she brings her strap-"

"Stop...I'm very aware of her qualities in bed - I'm a big part of it." Regina responded, annoyance lacing her voice.

 

The Evil Queen huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Wait - there is more behind this..." Regina noticed.

"Between me and Miss Swan is more than just sex - and you know this. Emma loves me...Oh God, you want to feel loved again!" The brunette exclaimed in revelation.

 

The Queen shifted in discomfort on her seat, looking anywhere but at Regina.

Regina cackled, shaking her head. "Who would have thought; the Evil Queen wants to love - my girlfriend. Well, well..."

The Queen looked angrily at Regina. "It's only sex for me!"

"Yes, yes...Whatever you say." The Mayor said, a grin spreading across her face.

 

A knocking on the sound halted both brunettes.

"It's Emma..." Regina said, but the Queen was gone.

* * *

 

"Hey!" Emma smiled, kissing Regina's cheek.

"Come in." Regina let her lover in, closing softly the door.

"I've been looking for the Evil Queen all day, but she vanished..." Emma sighed, taking off her leather jacket.

"Oh, I've seen her...When did she try to seduce you?"

 

Emma swallowed, eyes looking at her fingers..."Uhm...a week ago or so. I didn't think it was worth mentioning it. She's evil after all right?" The blonde laughed nervously.

Regina hummed at that, pulling Emma into the living room.

"I think we need to find a way, to morph her and me back together." Regina carefully said, watching Emma.

"What...Why?"

 

"I hate to admit it...But she and I are the same person. She is also a part of our relationship." Regina thoughtfully said, looking at her their linked hands.

"Hmm...Yeah, I love you no matter what..." The blonde responded, kissing the brunettes hand.

"I know, and I love you too." Regina smiled lovingly at the Savior.

"Henry is at my parents, so we have to house to ourselves..." Grinning, Emma waggled with her eyebrows.

"We do..." Regina rasped, kissing Emma's lips.

"I'm on top tonight." She whispered.

 


End file.
